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Almost got sodomized

2010-01-28 07:07:51 by thereverendis

College blows n***as!

No really, It sucks, specially when you commute. It's sorta feels like being dropped in a tank filled with blood thirsty salt water piranhas after having your dick chopped off and then stapled to your forehead.

No seriously...

College is a fucking joke, it's nothing but the most miserable place on earth, times a fucking thousand.

Anyhow, aside from that I sorta figured out that I truly hate people. Well... by "people" I mean most of persons I meet.

Like for example Sam.

Sam, is the homeless person that tried to brutally sodomize my face with a gun last night at ye olde' 7-11. Me and a buddy decided to call it a night after much irresponsible partying,
since we're fucking retarded, and our eyes were bloodshot as fuck, we figured.
"Hey lets go to the Sev's and pick up some Visine....and candy....maybe a soda."

As we pulled up to the driveway we saw this crazy fuck outside, got out the vehicle and he haggled me for change. My response was very honest and humble.
"Sorry man, I'm broke." to which dickweed responded "C'min man, I'm yerger freezing my hdfhd balls."
As we step inside the place, after some guy opened the door for us, we see the homeless man flipping us off from the outside.
As my friend pays for the stuff, he gives me one good stare with his bloodshot eyes and explains to me how I'm probably going to have to kill this homeless man. I fully agree with him on the matter, and explain to him how I'm going to stab the guy to fucking death with my car keys if he gets out of hand.


We pay and walk out with our munchies and much needed Visine. The guy haggled me hardbody again this time for a cigarette, and I give him a really dirty look. (Mostly cause I wanted a cigarette too, and he had reminded me that I didn't have any)
He once again haggles me. We both make it alive into the safe zone which was the car.
Once within the safe interior of the Chevy Tacoma, I start up the car.
The homeless man is now insinuating masturbation via hand signals and loudly slurring words about being cold, and how he has nothing.
Well, since this guy was bothering the fuck out of us and figured, hey I'm gonna flip this fucker off.

So I do.

He gives me a shocked expression, like if he was just kicked in the balls sorta thing. Then he smiles.

Since everything is going in slow motion due to the fact that I am not sober, I see this old homeless man reach into his coat with his right hand for what seemed to be matrix speed. Obviously, he was drawing a weapon.

You know how people say your life flashes before your eyes when you think you're about to die?

I think it doesn't work that way when ones under the influence, I didn't see shit I mean, thinking you're about to die isn't a disney land experience or anything like that, but I think it was the intoxication that made this a little bit more enjoyable. I just speeded out of there while still flipping him off, I go over the curb and everything, and speed down the block.

Fuck crackheads. I could have died.

/* */
I know exactly what that person probably felt like.

I think that if next time I go to the Sevs and I see that guy, I'm going to choke him to death with my shoelaces.

Fo' Realz.


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2010-01-28 10:26:38

N***a, yous sows crazee.


2010-01-28 13:21:15

what a long post


2010-02-03 13:00:41




2011-06-16 01:43:03

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